Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.
1.53sLaugh and cry
3.2sHe's a family guy
2.14s
0.87s
3.2s
2.47sCheck it out, guys. New driver's license.
1.47sWhat's wrong with your picture?
2.47sWell, see, I got drunk and then got my picture taken.
1.8sSo that way when I get pulled over for drunk driving,
2sI look the same as on my license.
1.77sYou know? Then the copper, the copper'll say,
1.23s"You're fine. You're not drunk.
1.97s"This is you normal. I can tell by the picture."
3.7sI wish I'd thought of that. I just got my new license a month ago.
0.67s
1.63s
1.67sWhat's with the big grin?
3.8sOh, I'd just gotten a new tube of Aquafresh, and I was feeling cocky.
0.37sHey, let's see yours, Joe.
1.43sNo.
1.1sCome on!
2.7s(SIGHS) Wait, why does it say...
1.5sYeah.
3.34sThey were all out of handicap that day, so I got retarded.
3.07sHey, let's see yours, Quagmire.
2.2sWait a second. You were born in 1948?
1.03sUh, yeah.
1.87sYou're 61 years old?
1.03sUh, yes, sir.
1.1sWhat's your secret?