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1.88sYou know him as...
2.25sCalculon!
1.22sOh, fate most cruel!
7.74sWould that my boundless acting skills might avail me a sword with which to slay this wretched curse.
1.3sLet's kick him some more!
1.63sNo, wait, let me explain.
4.15sIt all began one fateful night a thousand years ago.
1.45sWhoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1.37sYou're 1,000 years old?
1.93sYour bio says you're 27.
5.96sLies! I change my identity and upgrade my appearance every few decades to avoid suspicion.
6.96sI was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespomat, David Duchovny.