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2.03sSo, if you guys are a family,
2.37swhy are none of you the same shade of black?
3.42sI was also coked out of my skull most of the time.
2.17sBut whatever the case, I was done.
1.54s
2.57sI left Hollywood, moved back to my hometown of Quahog,
2.2sand wound up working here as a news anchor.
2.37sWow. Well, don't you miss it?
3.19sEvery second of every day, but I can't touch coke again.
1.03sIt would ruin my life.
1.12sNo, I mean acting.
1.35sOh, of course.
2.5sBut it's over for me. That's all in the past.
2.64sWell, if you ask me, you got the makings of a star.
1.63sAnd I want to help you get there.
3.17sWell, that's a nice offer, but I'm not quite sure how you expect to do that.
4.05sWell, you've brought me so much joy over the years as that lovable murderer of teenagers,
1.64sand I want to return the favor.
1.5sI don't even have an agent anymore.
1.37sWell, then how about this?
1.93s- I'll be your agent. - You?
1.8sYeah, I've seen every episode of Entourage.
3.27sAll you need is some fake hair and a bunch of hobbits hanging around you.
1.62sYou're on in five minutes, Mr. Tucker.
2.35sYou don't belong here. You're better than this.
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