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4.14sAfter years of study, I've discovered the secret to longer life in canines.
1.52sAnd that secret is--
3.64sWe interrupt this program for several episodes of One Day at a Time.
3.74sDamn it, Julie. I'm a single mother doing the best damn job she knows how!
1.37sAnd damn it, Schneider!
2.37sI asked you to fix that damn sink 2 days ago!
1.48soh, I'll fix your sink, Miss Romano.
2.54sAnd by that I mean I'll have sex with you.
2.2sAnd by that, I mean I'll fix your sink.
2.8sAnd by sink I mean your reproductive organ.
1.58sAnd by reproductive organ,
1.62sI mean the thing between your knees.
2.37sAnd by the thing between your knees, I...
2.2sI guess that one's kind of self-explanatory.
1.3sPeter, we're lost.
2.27sWould you please find some place to ask for directions?
4.5sWe are not lost. And even if we were you know I can't ask a human being for directions.
0.83sWhy not?
1.43sBecause I'm a man.
2.07sJeez, Haven't you ever seen a stand-up comedian, Lois?
2.32sDad, maybe we should go home.
2.5sNo way, son. We came to get you back into the Scouts.