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5.41sGood evening. I'm Tom Tucker, trying to get back on my feet after having my ass handed to me by my bitch of an ex-wife.
1.03sI'm Thelma.
1.23sI'll just be going.
1.6sCan I get you some punch?
4.3sOh, no. You see, if you're one of 10 million Americans like me...
1.6sLike me. Like me.
3.74s...with a bladder control problem, punch just goes right through you.
1.47sEw!
1.14s
3.14s
1.17sI didn't hear you come in last night.
2.24sDid you have a good time at your prostitutes' convention?
3.04sPeter, I was just trying to help your mother meet some new friends.
1.33sLois, you're too nosey.
1.67sLike that waiter at that restaurant.
1.67sAnd who had the prime rib?
2.57sI hardly think that's any of your business.
2.5sCome on, Mom, you can't stay in bed all day.
1.8sYou gotta call Dad and get back together with...
2.57s(SCREAMS) Holy crap!
2.23sWe'll have more on these new developments after this.
1.17s
2s
1.87s
1.87sI can't believe what I saw in there.
3.4sYou were messing around in what was basically my first apartment.