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1.32sOh, my God! NO!
2.53sIt's true. The final scroll has been recovered.
3.14sThe lucky recipient has declined to be interviewed for safety reasons.
1.97sBut I'm sure you're all with me when I say,
3.17s"Congratulations, you son of a bitch."
1.58sWhat am I gonna do now?
1.5sHello, dumb-dumb.
2.35sNot now, Gazoo. I want to be alone.
1.8sIt's not always about you, fatso.
2.34sMaybe I wanted to talk.
3.35sI guess wanting it more than anyone just wasn't enough.
1.37sH-hey, You guys, it's a fake.
1.87sThere's still a scroll out there.
1.02s
2.17sThat's right, I made it up.
2.32sI figured if people thought the last scroll was found,
1.2severyone would stop looking,
1.97sgiving me the edge to find it myself.
1.43sBut What I did was wrong.
4.04sAnd As an act of contrition, I will now insert this carnivorous earwig into my brain.
1.4s
1.47sHa! Kind of tickles.
0.74s
1.83s
1.43s
1.34s
1.17sOh, God!
2.74sIt's eating out the back of my eyes!
3.7sin other news, chocolate may be better for you than once thought.