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1.72s"I alone had reached the target objective,
4.1s"thanks to the intrepidity "I developed at testicular boot camp.
1.9s"But it was a trap!
3.7s"I was imprisoned in that uterine gulag for 9 grueling months."
3sDay 171. I've sprouted another finger,
1.7scounting the one from yesterday.
2.13sI'm up to 11.
3s"As the months of solitude passed, I began to go insane.
2.72s"It seemed my prison cell was getting smaller and smaller.
2.25s"I was quite sure that soon I would be dead.
3.14s"But then, a miracle! There was a light at the end of the tunnel.
4.34s"I rushed to freedom, but suddenly I was ambushed "by a mysterious man in white!"
2.6sThe man in white. Of course.
2.42sHe must be the hired professional of whom they spoke.