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3.24sThe British are coming by land, by land.
1.84s
2.52sBut we came by sea, we did.
1.95sSurprised the Yanks at Lexington,
3.85sending the rebellion with nary a kipper scuffed.
1.43sScuffed kippers, anyone?
1.88sRight kind of you, mum.
1.85s
5.09sThe humiliated conspirators were forced to sign the Declaration of Dependence,
3.09sproclaiming British rule forever.
4.17sMeanwhile, a loyal Brit by the name of David Farnsworth,
2.72stracked down the traitor, George Washington,
2.8sand bravely smothered him with his wig.
3.99s(MUFFLED GASPS) Oh, criminy.
8.56sIn gratitude, King George named Farnsworth a duke and granted his family massive landholdings in the colonies.