Create a Clip

Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.

1.2sMuriel?
3.35s
1.2sMuriel?
0.77s
1.58sMuriel!
1.48s(SNIFFS) Nothing.
1.68sYou actually know what she smells like?
1.3sI know what everybody smells like.
1s- Carl? - Cheetos.
1s- Mort? - Pennies.
1s- Derek? - Brut.
1s- Joe? - Feces.
1s- Consuela? - Pledge.
1s- Seamus? - Wood.
1s- Quagmire? - Wood.
1.03sWow.
4.65sYou know, I have to admit, before this Muriel thing I actually thought you might be the murderer.
1.68sOh, my God, so insulted.
3.15sTrust me, if this were my work, it'd be much more artful.
1.77sThere's a poetry to what I do.
1.57sYou know how I would've killed James Woods?
1.1sHow?
2.53sI would've electrocuted him, causing a temporary paralysis.
2.37sAnd while he was still conscious, but unable to move,
3.47sI would've reached into his anus and pulled out his lower intestine slowly,
3.2shand over hand, like a fancy magician's scarf trick.
6.21sThen I would fashion the lower intestine into a crude giraffe and give it to his children as a Christmas morning stocking stuffer.
7.31sAnd then as his eyes start to close in final submission to death's cold embrace I point to the ceiling and say, "Is that your card?"
Index