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2.18sGeez, Mort, how the hell do you know how to do all this?
4.1sWell, there's a whole section of the Torah dedicated to burning down your business.
4.94sRight after the chapter on writing complaint letters that will result in compensatory merchandise.
2.52s"Dear stuffed shirts at Ritz Crackers.
2.8s"A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
5.24s"Just as a box of crackers is only as appealing as its least intact sleeve.
4.07s"I am paying for fully formed crackers, not butter crumbles.
2.4s"I don't buy your product with broken quarters,
3.84s"don't stick me with broken pieces of cracker, you miserable dickheads!
2.27s"Regards, Mort Goldman again."
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6.01s
1.79s
2.73sAll right, let's get to work.
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