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1.3sOkay, all right, I got one.
4.8sWould you rather be a hobo with a five percent chance of getting inherited by a rich guy,
3.34sor be Hitler two years before the end of World War II?
1.63s'Cause you know you're gonna have to shoot yourself,
2sbut you still got two more years as Hitler.
2.45sIf you're the hobo, do you have a place to sleep,
1.57slike an underpass or...
1.05sDifferent every night.
5.12sAs Hitler, can I change certain policies so that maybe I'm looked on more favorably at the end of the war?
2.35sNo, you already screwed up big time. Lot of dead Jews.
2.59sAm I a blue state or a red state hobo?
2.54sBlue, but Midwestern blue.
3.67sOh, boy. (GRUMBLING) It's cold out there.
1.63sAm I allowed to alter the mustache?
1.75sDude, why do you keep trying to make Hitler work?
3.27sAm I allowed to kill other hobos to increase my odds?
1.4sKill anyone you like. You're a hobo.
1.53sAm I a walking hobo? No.
1.67sQuagmire and Cleveland are, but you're not.
2.5sSo, wait, I would also be a paralyzed Hitler?
1sYeah.
1.47sWould I be a black Hitler?
1.37sYes. No.
1.67sWell, wait a minute,
1.93snow how come I got to be crippled Hitler and he's still white Hitler?
2.17sIf you got such a problem with it, Joe, just be the hobo!