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2.73sIt's a lot of work just to keep my single-guy fridge sufficiently depressing.
1.12s
2.24sLet's see. Ex-girlfriend's Yoplait.
1.67sRoot beer from two Julys ago.
1sHere we go, expired milk.
1.07s
0.75s
3.25s(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God, Jenny, look how young you look.
1.37sI sympathize with y'all.
2.94sDonna makes me listen to Gayle King on XM Radio,
1.67s19 hours a day.
3.07sI tried to kill myself by swallowing a nail clipper,
1.1sbut I passed it.
1.27sWhat the hell happened to us?
1.83sWe used to be able to do whatever the hell we wanted.
1.63sNow here we are, in the prime of our lives,
1.67sand we're slaves to our women.
3.8sI know. An exciting day for me is when I watch wheelchair porn.
1.87sBoy, do the sparks fly on those.
1.4sOh, is it hot?
3sNah, it's mostly just chairs smashing into each other.
3.84sSometimes the director has to come on camera just to turn the chairs around.
1.67sWell, why don't we make our own excitement?
0.97sWhat do you mean?
2.55sI don't know, like, maybe the four of us should do something to reclaim our freedom.
2sLike go on a road trip, find some adventure.
3.34sQuagmire, that's a great idea! Let's do a road trip! Who's in?
0.52s
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