Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.
1.75sThey have to come from the heart.
1.77sWrong again, Zoidberg.
4.54sWhile you were yakking, I downloaded every folk song in the universe and analyzed them.
2.89sThere are only a few basic patterns.
5.7sFor example, 36% of all folk-song heroes work on a railroad and are named "Big" something.
1.3sNext slide, please.
0.82s
0.6s
7.83s75% of these big railroad men have bad-hearted women who done them wrong, usually with a smooth-talking rambler.
1.67sThere's a lot more, but in the end,
1.83ssomebody kills somebody... Blah, blah, blah.
5.31sSomebody kills somebody Blah, blah, blah Catchy!
1.87sNot what I meant, but don't perform it without my permission!
1.03sAnyway,
4.15susing this simple formula, I can generate as many hit folk songs as I want.
1.53sAll I need is an audience.
3.15sAnd that's where Silicon Red comes in.
6.22s
5.29s(COUGHING) Man, all this corncob pipe smoke is irritating my stab wounds.