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1.56sGood luck, Mr. President.
1.83sSir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse.
2.13sIn two hours, there may not be an Earth to save.
2.13sSanchez? Are you a musician?
1.76sl dabble, Mr. President.
3.03sGet this man and his grandson on a Black Hawk to Area 51.
3.16sPeople! Everyone! Remain calm!
3.73sEvery crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith.
2.73sWhen God deals you an 11, you don't fold!
1.16sYou double down!
1.87sAnd always hit on a soft 16.
1.59sThat means you, Jews.
2.49sI beg your pardon, Pastor, but the last I looked outside,
2.8sit seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand.
1.87sJews rule!
1.9sNobody? Okay, tough church.
1.23sHi. Principal Vagina --
1.8sthe name's real, possibly Scandinavian.
1.56sI'm just gonna come out and make this pitch --
1.26sthe old gods are dead.
2.53sFuck all previous existing religions.
2.16sAll hail the one true God --
2.16sThe giant head in the sky.
1.52s- Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta!
1.26sBob, Bob, I get it.
2.59sBut unless this can beat that,
1.83swhat have you done for me lately?
1.23sSo, if you'll all excuse me,