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3.47sBut even after several dates, Joseph couldn't get to first base.
1.5sNot just because Mary was a virgin,
4.94sbut because baseball would not be invented for 1,800 years and nobody knew what the hell he was talking about.
3.17sYou know this is the same picnic basket we drowned my sister in.
1.67sIt was back when they were like, "Drown all the girls,"
2.32sand then they were like, "Don't drown all the girls,"
2.94sbut she was born on a drowning week, so, you know.
4.15s(SNEEZES) Oh, look at that, there's hardly any blood.
1.37sYou're very healthy.
1.93sWell, I try to take care of myself.
2.77sJoseph, this is the most fun I've had in a while.
1.4sThat's good, that's good.
1.54s- Pull your pants down. - What?
3.03sCome on, this is our seventh date. It's completely natural.
1.7sBirds do it, bees do it,
2sdinosaurs, whom we live alongside, do it.
2.47sJoseph, I can't. People will talk.
1.47sSo, what? They'll talk in Aramaic.
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