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4.3sNot me. I was dating Lois the whole time. I never got to be wild.
2.74sExcept for that time I rode the mechanical bull at that bar.
7.11s(LAUGHING MANIACALLY) Oh, my God, how embarrassing! Look how much fun I am!
2.54sIt's like I missed out on half my life.
2.3sWhat I wouldn't give to be 18 again,
1.7slike those kids on spring break.
1.7sGrim news from Daytona, Florida,
4.3swhere the remains of three female college students were found near a local nightclub.
4.54sReports suggest that all three were violated sexually before being brutally murdered.
3.04sOh, man, see that? Everybody's getting laid but me.
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1.37sBAR PATRON: Oh, come on!