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5.64sIn other news, a local Quahog author has set a record for the worst-selling novel of all time.
8.04sBrian Griffin's Faster than the Speed of Love has astonishingly not sold a single copy thanks to universal panning by literary critics.
3.84sComing up, children are getting sexier, and that's...
2.03sThat's pretty cool.
3.24sThis is so humiliating. I sold out everything I believed in,
3.27sand I have nothing to show for it. My book's a bomb.
2.9sWell, look at it this way. You did accomplish something.
2.03sMarijuana's illegal because of you,
4.1sand Stewie got to build a nice little fort with all of your unsold books.
2.14sMy house is made of mediocrity.