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2.3sIt's a great day to be alive, Tom, able-bodied or not.
1sIt sure is, diane.
5.41sToday we'll see some of quahog's finest athletes struggle valiantly against God's twisted designs.
2.63sYou'll cheer, cry, maybe even get a cheap laugh or two.
1.47sI know I will, Tom.
4.1sIn fact, There's the distinct possibility that by the end of the day, we'll all be going to Hell.
1.53sI'll see you there, Diane.
2.79sOh, It sounds like the opening ceremonies have begun.
1.62sThere are the paraplegics.
1.39s
2.1sFollowed by the blind team.
1.5s
2.29sStill no sign of the deaf team, I notice.
1.2s
1s
1.17s
1.7sHey! You guys are gonna be late!
1.83sMaybe they're not in there.
3.4sAnd now, We turn our attention to the lighting of the flame.
2.62s
2.12sAnd these games are underway!
3.49sWe begin with the 100-meter dash for people afraid of yellow tape.
1.61s
1.08s
2.44s
2.04sIt's anybody's race now, Tom!
1.2sUgh!