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3.84sA substantial reward is being offered for any information leading to his capture.
4.14sIn other pseudo-scientific news, a local man claims to have spotted Bigfoot.
1.93sWe've got the exclusive interview.
3.34sI was about to bone my girlfriend, out at the lake,
4.27sbut suddenly, she yelled, so I looked up and it was Bigfoot.
1.27sSo, what happened next?
1.73sThen, I went back to bone her,
5.04sbut the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way.
3.2sAll right, get your snacks, and hurry out, you guys.
2.03sThere, look, they have Chunky bars.
3.9sWhat a God-awful mess those things are. Chocolate with raisins in it.
3.1sYeah. Yeah, that's what kids want with their chocolate, fruit.
2.84sWhy don't you put sunflower seeds in the Ding Dongs while you're at it?
1.43sIs that part of your stand-up act?
1.67sI don't know. Did you like it? I wouldn't open with it.