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0.83sGood evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
1.57sAnd I'm Diane Simmons.
2.37sAuthorities are on the lookout for one-year-old Stewie Griffin,
3.17sa Quahog infant who is believed to be possessed by Satan.
3.84sA substantial reward is being offered for any information leading to his capture.
4.14sIn other pseudo-scientific news, a local man claims to have spotted Bigfoot.
1.93sWe've got the exclusive interview.
3.34sI was about to bone my girlfriend, out at the lake,
4.27sbut suddenly, she yelled, so I looked up and it was Bigfoot.
1.27sSo, what happened next?
1.73sThen, I went back to bone her,
5.04sbut the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way.
1.87s
3.2sAll right, get your snacks, and hurry out, you guys.
2.03sThere, look, they have Chunky bars.