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1.57sThat's ridiculous.
2.7sChuck Norris?
3.64sYou know, this place may be the upside to everything that's happened.
1.67sThe people are kind and generous.
1.8sThey seem wholesome and moral,
2.94sexactly the kind of influence this family needs.
3.3sLois, we're living in a red state with a bunch of right-wing nut jobs.
1.43sHey, Chris, check out my belt buckle.
2.64sIt says, "Everything's bigger in Texas."
4.77s(LAUGHING) Belts are a great way to express opinions.
1.7s
3.34sANNOUNCER: This is Channel Five News, Texas, with Duke Dillon.
2.4sHowdy, Texas, I'm Duke Dillon.
1.07sAt the top of the news tonight,
5.54sauthorities have called off their pursuit of a fugitive Rhode Island baby who was thought to be possessed by the devil.
1.67sOh, thank God.
9.01sThis turn of events came after Vatican scientists announced today that the devil is not the greatest threat to salvation due to last week's discovery of the super devil.