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0.83sGood evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
1.57sAnd I'm Diane Simmons.
2.37sAuthorities are on the lookout for one-year-old Stewie Griffin,
3.17sa Quahog infant who is believed to be possessed by Satan.
3.84sA substantial reward is being offered for any information leading to his capture.
4.14sIn other pseudo-scientific news, a local man claims to have spotted Bigfoot.
1.93sWe've got the exclusive interview.
3.34sI was about to bone my girlfriend, out at the lake,
4.27sbut suddenly, she yelled, so I looked up and it was Bigfoot.
1.27sSo, what happened next?
1.73sThen, I went back to bone her,
5.04sbut the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way.
1.87s
3.2sAll right, get your snacks, and hurry out, you guys.