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4.4sOne fateful night, I got behind the wheel of my brand-new sports car,
1.57sblind drunk.
3.49sI was responsible for the death of an innocent 8-year-old girl.
1.83sWhat kind? What?
1.23sWhat kind of car?
2.03sYou said you had a sports car. That's cool, but what kind?
1sIt was a Miata.
1.9sCome on. That's not a sports car.
1.54sHow does that even kill a kid?
1.4sWhat, did you hit her over the head with it?
1.13sThat's a legitimate sports car.
1.27sNo. Next!
2.49sJenny, would you like to talk?
2.59sMy name is Jenny, and I'm an alcoholic.
3.07sJeez, anybody here in any other line of work? Ha!
1.3sALL: Hi, Jenny.
4.67sBefore I found AA, my ex-boyfriend and I used to get drunk and party all night.
1.74sI missed work half the time.
4.47sOne morning, I woke up naked with three Persians high-fiving each other on the way out of my bedroom.
3.34sBut now that I've joined the program, I'm a whole different person.
3.74sAnd my two new cats, Clean and Sober, just think I'm tops.
1.73sThat's wonderful, Jenny.
3.14sAll right, Peter, do you have a story that you'd like to share?
1.32sOh, yeah, I got one.
4.2sThis one time, me and Joe and Quagmire made a bet to see who could drink the most beer and still drive.
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