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2.08sDoesn't he know there are children watching?
2.55sI know. I said to my wife just the other night,
2.24s"Enough with the boob tube." Pardon my French.
1.67s"But we are turning it off."
1.65sYou know, guys, and I really mean this,
4.5safter 27 years of marriage, my wife is still the sexiest woman I know.
1.65sPardon my French.
2.73sYou know, I've started taking a Bufferin baby aspirin every day.
2.2sIt's improved my heart one heck of a heap,
1.87sI'll tell you that. Pardon my French.
1.72sThis is even worse than the other one.
2.87sI mean, it's cool I know French, but, Death, this ain't me.
1.35sWhat am I supposed to do?
2.67sIf I'm a drunk, I'm a jerk, and if I'm sober, I'm a douche.
4.37sExactly, Peter. It's called moderation. That's the key to life.
2.3sYou don't have to give up the booze cold turkey.
2.2sYou just have to be responsible with it.
6.56sYou members of the human race have the ability to send a man to the moon and make Justin Long a movie star.
1.67sWith that kind of willpower,
3.04sdon't you think you can learn to put the bottle down just sometimes?
2.35sWe did it with Justin Long, didn't we?
2.44sAmerica said no, but we kept at it.