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4.5safter 27 years of marriage, my wife is still the sexiest woman I know.
1.65sPardon my French.
2.73sYou know, I've started taking a Bufferin baby aspirin every day.
2.2sIt's improved my heart one heck of a heap,
1.87sI'll tell you that. Pardon my French.
1.72sThis is even worse than the other one.
2.87sI mean, it's cool I know French, but, Death, this ain't me.
1.35sWhat am I supposed to do?
2.67sIf I'm a drunk, I'm a jerk, and if I'm sober, I'm a douche.
4.37sExactly, Peter. It's called moderation. That's the key to life.
2.3sYou don't have to give up the booze cold turkey.
2.2sYou just have to be responsible with it.
6.56sYou members of the human race have the ability to send a man to the moon and make Justin Long a movie star.
1.67sWith that kind of willpower,
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