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5.5sThe number-one book on The New York Times bestseller list is Dream Your Way to Spiritual Joy by Pauly Shore.
2.15sThis is why nobody bought my damn book.
1.7sYou know, this is what they want. The Secret.
2.97sChicken Soup for the Soul. The Purpose Driven Life.
2.64sI tell you, I could crap one of those things out in a night.
1.28sI'm gonna tell Mom you said "crap."
3.1sNo, I mean it. I could do it in three hours and idiots everywhere would buy it.
1.37sWell, why don't you?
1.58sBelieve me, I would love to, just to make a point,
1.7sbut I've given up writing.
1.9sYes, but you cared about what you wrote before.
2.37sYou don't care about this, so what does it matter?
1.6sWell, you do have a point.
1.17sAll right. Maybe I will.
2.17sOh, how fun. Can I watch you write it?
2.1sI don't know, Stewie. I kind of like to write in solitude.
3.1sNo, no, I promise I'll be as quiet as a guy in a coma.
1.39s(THINKING) Ah! This is great.
2sI can finally be alone with my thoughts.
2.74sWait, I've got it. Predator Versus Batman.
2.57sWhy has no one done this? I need a pen. Where's a pen?
2.27sOh, right, I can't move. That's okay, I'll remember it.
2.13sI mean, I can't forget a million-dollar idea like that.
2.47sIt's even better than the one yesterday about the guys who...
1.4sWait, I mean, the woman with the...
2.23sWhat was it? Was she a shape-shifter?
2sDamn it, I just had it. All right, calm down.