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1.9sOh, you mean, like, if he dove into the shallow end?
1.77sNo. Regular Mark Spitz.
1.8sWait, are you Stephen Hawking at the beach?
3.1sNo, I'm Mark Spitz! He won seven gold medals!
2.54sOh, I get it. You're crippled Magnum, P.I.
2.7sI'm... Fine, I'm crippled Magnum, P.I.
1.07s
1.47s
2.84sBrian, there's that girl from my yoga class I wanted you to meet.
3.04sLook, Lois, I appreciate it, but I'm not into fix-ups.
3.44sOh, come on, you got to get yourself back out there.
2.07sJane, this is Brian.
3.23sOh, Brian! Lois has told me so much about you.
2.24sWow, you're even more handsome than she said.
3.5sHey, thanks. So, that's a great costume.
2.23sWhat are you? One of Freddy Krueger's victims?
3.17sI'm a victim of the liberal agenda. I'm a murdered fetus.
2.9sDid you know that Democrats murder thousands of babies every year,
4.34sand sometimes babies are put back into the womb just so that they can be aborted again?
1.97sHave you ever had any sex that was voluntary?
1.63sNo, I have not. Yeah, have a good evening.
1.27sCome on, buddy. Let's go.
3.27s(BIRD TWITTERING) Yeah, with a capital "C."