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1.94sWhat's your secret, Homer?
1.94s(WHISPERS) You have to cheat!
0.57s
1.65sUh, listen.
4.14sIs it true you priest guys can't ever...
1.4s(MUTTERS) You know...
3.85sI'll admit, the vow of celibacy is one of our sterner challenges.
2.77sCelibacy? I was talking about the meat on Friday thing!
3.65sMan, you guys got more crazy rules than Blockbuster Video!
2.4sWell, that's true. But if you do break a rule,
3.55syou can always find absolution in the sacrament of confession.
2.5sWait, wait, wait. No matter what I did,
4.65sno matter how many people lost their pensions, it's forgiven like that?
2.05sIf you truly repent, then yes.
3.15sOkay! Let's make some magic here.
2.94sI wiped a booger on your shirt. I made a dog and a cat kiss.
2.47sI swiped a bolted down TV from a Holiday Inn,
2.05sI coveted the wife in Jaws 2, I lied to a waiter,
1.5sI masturbated eight billion times,
2.9sand I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future.
2.54sWhoo-hoo! I'm clean! In your face, Lord!
2.07sUm, not quite, Mr. Simpson.