Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.
6.97s(GROANING) FATHER SEAN: I was laying in the gutter picking up my teeth when Saint Peter himself appears before me.
0.4sSean, you wanker...
1.15sHe says.
1.93sRepent of your wicked ways or sod off.
3.47sThen he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlight.
1.17s
2.27sAnd that's how I came to the Church.
3.25sWell, I'm only here because I got blamed for a prank I didn't do!
1.32sMmm-hmm.
1.97sCall me crazy, but I believe you.
1.5sYou do? Of course I do.
3.15sYou know, lots of church types started off as rotten wee buggers.
2.82sSt. Augustine himself got his start stealing pears.
0.78sStealing pairs of what?
2.33sHubcaps, Reeboks, human eyes?
1.48sIt's all in here. See for yourself.
0.75s
0.72s
0.93sCool!
2.07s
0.69s
1.43sSister Thomasina,
1.9sI've taken the liberty of knocking the vinegar out of him.
0.87s
0.82s
1.97sHe's all yours. Yeah, whatever.
3.89sNow, class, open your math books to the word problems of our Lord.
2.49s"Billy and Joseph start their penance at the same time.
3.95s"If each swear word brings 1,000 years in hell..."