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1.87sWow! What a hero.
1.53sComing up next in sports,
3.45sArizona Cardinal Pat Tillman tackled by his own team?
1.9sOh, Brian, we're so proud of you.
2.57sYeah, buddy. Great job stopping those terrorists.
3.04sAnd thank God their follow-up attack on St. Louis was a bust.
1.55sTERRORIST: We missed!
2.68sBrian, I promise you, all of this can only end badly.
2.48sStewie, it's fine. I prevented 9/11.
2.1sHow could that possibly be a bad thing?
2.13sI mean, come on, I saved, like, 200 lives.
2.14s- 3,000. - Wow! 3,000?
2.24sOh, you knew what you were doing there.
1.98sTOM: This major breaking news just in.
3.54sNine Southern states have declared that they are seceding from the United States.
2.9sThe announcement came from former President George W. Bush,