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2.68sBrian, I promise you, all of this can only end badly.
2.48sStewie, it's fine. I prevented 9/11.
2.1sHow could that possibly be a bad thing?
2.13sI mean, come on, I saved, like, 200 lives.
2.14s- 3,000.
- Wow! 3,000?
2.24sOh, you knew what you were doing there.
1.98sTOM: This major breaking news just in.
3.54sNine Southern states have declared that they are seceding from the United States.
2.9sThe announcement came from former President George W. Bush,
4.7swho reformed the Confederacy after a bitter loss in his 2004 reelection bid.
2sBush lost in 2004?
2.9sYeah, he probably couldn't exploit people's fears with no 9/11.
2.87sBush appeared before the press today to make this brief statement.
2.88sIf anyone out there can get their hands on a clown's suitcase,
2.67sI'd very much like to see what's inside of there.
1.88sI think we have the wrong clip.
0.74s
1.5sWhat? No?
1.2s
1.87s(STAMMERING) It... This... Okay.
3.14sThat was George W. Bush declaring civil war on the Northern states.
2.07sOh, my God! Civil war?