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3.37s(GROANS) Ned, your film was a masterpiece.
3.04sIt turned me from an atheist to a hooray-theist.
5.02sUh, sir, you have revealed to me a world of faith beyond the world of science.
2.5sI would pay to see it again, and again,
3.37sand again, and again, but not six times.
1.93sI also would pay to see it again.
2.07sMe, too. Here's some guy's wallet.
1.92sI am that guy.
2.77sSmithers, we could make a fortune with these Bible pictures.
4.64sAnd I've been looking for a way to launder the money I made selling club soda as flu vaccine.
3.8sEveryone seemed so happy. But, I'm surprised at Ned.
3.82sHe left out all the good times Cain and Abel had when they were growing up.
2.4sHe's just being true to the Bible, which is pretty violent.
1.87sAnd sexy.
2.37sKing David stole someone else's wife. Mary Magdalene was a hooker.
2.14sBart, how do you know these things?
1.38sIt's all in this book.
6.04s(BART LAUGHS) (GROANS) HOMER: Welcome to the Homer Simpson Showboating Academy.