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1.5sHello, Father.
3.2sI thought I made it clear that you are no longer welcome here.
2.59sYou know, I've been coming to this church for years.
1.74sI've heard all the stories.
1.63sWho did Jesus hang around with?
1.2sMary Magdalene.
1.13sAnd who was she?
1.4sA prostitute.
2.97sWhich means, if they had cameras back then,
2.4sI bet she would have done a porno.
0.73s(ALL CLAMORING)
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4.47sAnd if she did, I know that Jesus would have forgiven her.
2.42sAm I any worse than Mary Magdalene?
3.95sAnd more importantly, are you all better than Jesus?
1.48sI'm better than Jesus.
2.74sOkay, yes, Tina Fey, you're better than Jesus.
1.67sBut the rest of you...
4.42sThe rest of you need to accept the fact that I made a simple mistake.
1.15sAnd here it is.
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1.95s(FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
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