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2.9sthey'll deplete the planet's booze and die off.
2.7sThis is a problem that will solve itself.
1.63sA problem that solves itself?
2.85sThat sounds like a job for me, Bender.
1.08s(SNORING)
2.05s
1.33sOur top story,
3.54sall alcohol on Earth has mysteriously disappeared.
1.77sConsequences are minimal,
2.35sexcept among the most hardened alcoholics.
0.62s
1.08sLinda?
2.97sI can no longer face my children!
3.04s(SOBBING) Crisis averted.
2.95sWithout alcohol, the Benders are dying off.
1.7s(ALL COUGHING, GASPING)
1.31s
1.9s
2.38sA greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld.
2.1sWell, into the toilet.
2.95s
4.59s(COUGHS) So sober, so weak.