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1.49sNow, I know this looks bad,
1.63sme living in your son's closet and all.
2.67sBut it's a very complex situation.
5.22sYou see, basically, I got home from work one day and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.
1.77sOh, that's terrible.
2.14sI fell into a deep depression after the divorce,
1.7swhich ended up costing me my job.
2.4sAll my money was gone, which means I lost the house.
2.92sSo I moved into Chris' closet just until I got back on my feet again.
2.74sWound up living in there for nine years.
2.4sOh, my God! You've missed so much.
3.77sLike when America was attacked by mentally-challenged suicide bombers.
5.94s(EXCLAIMING IN ARABIC) You know something? You're not evil at all, are you?
3.5sNo, he's not. He's just a poor fellow who's down on his luck.
1.37sEasy for you to say!
3.04sHe doesn't hide in your closet making a scary face!
1.42sThat's just the face I make when I'm thinking.
1.47sAnd you're always pointing at me.
1.6sI was trying to start a conversation.
1.83sAnd you do that weird trembling thing!
1.17sI have a copper deficiency.
2.07sLook, Chris, I'm sorry if I scared you before.
2.13sBut this is a great chance for us to start over.