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1.97sOh, my God! Chris was right!
1.97sHoly crap! Chris, is that thing dangerous?
1.67sYes! He's evil!
1.47sI'm not really evil.
1.32s(GASPING) It talks!
2.72sIf someone will please untie me, I'll explain everything.
2.38sNo, Dad! Don't do it! He's evil!
3.1sLook, just trust me. This is all a huge misunderstanding.
1.77sChris, I think we should give him a chance to explain himself.
1.62s(SIGHING) Thank you very much.
1.49sNow, I know this looks bad,
1.63sme living in your son's closet and all.
2.67sBut it's a very complex situation.
5.22sYou see, basically, I got home from work one day and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.
1.77sOh, that's terrible.
2.14sI fell into a deep depression after the divorce,
1.7swhich ended up costing me my job.
2.4sAll my money was gone, which means I lost the house.