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1.47sI'm not really evil.
1.32s(GASPING) It talks!
2.72sIf someone will please untie me, I'll explain everything.
2.38sNo, Dad! Don't do it! He's evil!
3.1sLook, just trust me. This is all a huge misunderstanding.
1.77sChris, I think we should give him a chance to explain himself.
1s(SHOUTING) No!
1.84s
0.91s
1.62s(SIGHING) Thank you very much.
1.49sNow, I know this looks bad,
1.63sme living in your son's closet and all.
2.67sBut it's a very complex situation.
5.22sYou see, basically, I got home from work one day and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.
1.77sOh, that's terrible.
2.14sI fell into a deep depression after the divorce,
1.7swhich ended up costing me my job.
2.4sAll my money was gone, which means I lost the house.
2.92sSo I moved into Chris' closet just until I got back on my feet again.
2.74sWound up living in there for nine years.
2.4sOh, my God! You've missed so much.
3.77sLike when America was attacked by mentally-challenged suicide bombers.
5.94s(EXCLAIMING IN ARABIC) You know something? You're not evil at all, are you?
3.5sNo, he's not. He's just a poor fellow who's down on his luck.