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2.59sAll right, everyone. Time to do our Nielsen duty.
1.18sSo, what are we gonna watch?
1.42sBoobs. Project Runway.
2.37sThe Good Wife. That black version of our show.
3.23sYou know, guys, this is a real opportunity to promote quality programming.
1.37sI think we should watch PBS.
2sYeah, you're real passionate about PBS.
3.04sYou donated once five years ago and they sent you a mug.
5.94sAnd now the mug's so old that the "P" has been worn off so it just says "BS," which is so fucking apt.
4.14s(KNOCKING) Tom Tucker? What are you doing here?
1.67sWell, I heard you're the new Nielsen family.
2.44sJust hoping you plan to watch the Channel Five news.
1.52sI don't know. I've missed so many.
1.5sIt's gonna take me forever to catch up.
1.94sWell, we'd sure love to have you as a viewer.
2.57sIs there anything we can do to make the news more appealing to you?
1.4sI guess you could lose the moustache.
1.37sLose my moustache?
1.53sWell, gosh, I don't know.
1.93sMy birthmark makes it kind of tough.
2.25sAlways caused me problems at my old job.