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1.6sWhat do you mean, I ruined television?
1.92sYou put a real cougar on Cougar Town,
4.04sand now that cougar's dead because Courteney Cox ripped it apart with her teeth and claws.
3.65sYou turned Anderson Cooper 360 into Anderson Cooper 720.
1.6sHe's turning around too much.
2.77sYeah, and Lifetime is just one big rape now.
2.67sThey used to have stuff before and after the rape.
2.22sYou converted The Biggest Loser to the metric system.
1.9sNow it feels like they're not losing enough.
1.2sThe hell with you guys.
2.67sYou're just jealous 'cause I get to say what's on TV now.
2.03sI am a Nielsen god.
0.77s
0.78s(GRUNTS)
1.18s
1.61s
5.97s(GRUNTS) Sorry, y'all. That's the first time I ever throwed anything.
0.68s
3.55s
2.65sWell, if it isn't Mr. Nielsen himself.
2.04sNurse, who's the worst doctor in this hospital?
1.17sYou are, Dr. Hartman.
1.68sGood. Put Hartman on this bozo.
1.32sHey, what can I do for you?
1.83sPlease, Doc, you got to help me with this nasty gash.