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1.17sGood afternoon. I'm Tom Tucker.
3.84sOur top story, a big announcement out of Pewterschmidt Pharmaceuticals today.
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6.94sCompany chairman Carter Pewterschmidt released a statement announcing the launch of a deodorant for the developmentally disabled called Slow Stick.
4.44sIt's also edible because, you know, those people don't...
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1.95sDon't know... And now sports.
3.77sThat's it? What the hell? Where's the cancer cure announcement?
2.3sThat son of a bitch went back on his word.
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1.53s- CARTER: Hello?
- Daddy.
3.24sWe're all sitting here in front of the TV awaiting the big announcement.