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2.5sYou're probably wondering why he's in hell.
1.73sJohnny liked little boys.
1.67s
3.3s
1.13sThe question is, Brian,
2.1show am I gonna make people think I'm James Woods?
3.34sThe same way he did, Peter. Identity theft works both ways.
2.84sThe first thing we're gonna do is get you a perfect fake ID.
1.9sI know a guy who does good work.
3sYou took a big risk coming here, man. James Woods could be back any minute.
1.27sI know. How fast can you do it?
1.13sAs fast as Spider-Man when he gets laid.
1.51s
1.7sOh, God, I'm so sorry.
2.7sThat's never happened to me before. It's just...
2.3sYou're so attractive and it's been a while.
1.63sI'm gonna go.
2.34sYou know, some people say that's good for your hair.
1.07sWOMAN: Yeah, thanks.
1.44s
5.1s(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen.
3.9sPlease welcome our next guest, Mr. James Woods. Oh, James.
3.87s(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Wait a minute, you're not James Woods.
1.53sOh, I believe I am.
3.4sDriver's license, Social Security card, American Express.