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3.94sDad, these old stories can't compare with our modern superwriters.
2.12sSteven Bochco could kick Shakespeare's ass.
2.45sLook. This story's more interesting than you think.
2.3sIt starts with Hamlet's father getting murdered.
2.62sCool. Does he get to marry his mom?
2.52sI don't know, but that would be hot.
3.82s"Once upon a time, there was a young prince of Denmark."
2.6s
3.9sHamlet! Avenge me!
0.48sDad?
1.42sYes.
1.97sI have returned from the dead.
2.3sLooks like you've returned from the buffet.
2.47sWhy, you little-- D'oh!
1.63s
2.17sMy son, I have some shocking news.
2.07sI was murdered.
1.82sMurdered, I tells ya!
0.67sReally?
1.09sBehold.
4.94sAs I slept, your Uncle Claudius poured poison in my ear.
2.68sPoison most foul!
3.99sSo he could marry your mother and become the king.