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2.45sMr. Griffin, I still don't understand.
3.57sWhy exactly does your son want to join the Jewish faith?
2.24sHeck, I don't know. He--He's bi-curious.
1.23sI appreciate your interest,
2.37sbut Judaism takes a serious commitment.
4sElliott here has spent years preparing for his bar mitzvah this Saturday.
1.6sA bar mitzvah! Perfect.
0.93sHow much for one of those?
2.42sYou can't just buy a bar mitzvah.
1.73sIt requires a lot of study.
1.48sCan't we skip that part?
1.89sI mean, come on, If Chris knew how to study,
3.34she wouldn't need to become Jewish in the first place, right?
0.93sDon't worry, Dad.
1.53sI don't need a bar mitzvah.
1.9sI'm ok just the way i--
1.43sOw! Ow! Ow!
1.5sWe got no time to lose.
8.74sThere's gotta be someplace in America where you can take a solemn spiritual ceremony that begins a lifetime commitment and blow through it in about 20 minutes.