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2.45sMr. Griffin, I still don't understand.
3.57sWhy exactly does your son want to join the Jewish faith?
2.24sHeck, I don't know. He--He's bi-curious.
1.23sI appreciate your interest,
2.37sbut Judaism takes a serious commitment.
4sElliott here has spent years preparing for his bar mitzvah this Saturday.
1.6sA bar mitzvah! Perfect.
0.93sHow much for one of those?
2.42sYou can't just buy a bar mitzvah.
1.73sIt requires a lot of study.
1.48sCan't we skip that part?
1.89sI mean, come on, If Chris knew how to study,
3.34she wouldn't need to become Jewish in the first place, right?
1.07sRight?
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1.08sRight?
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0.93sDon't worry, Dad.
1.53sI don't need a bar mitzvah.
1.9sI'm ok just the way i--
1.43sOw! Ow! Ow!
1.5sWe got no time to lose.
8.74sThere's gotta be someplace in America where you can take a solemn spiritual ceremony that begins a lifetime commitment and blow through it in about 20 minutes.