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2.3sHold out your stockings, kids!
2.9sChris, you can't join the army. You're too young.
1.67sBesides, the army is weak.
3.04sNow, the marines, those are the men you want to fuck.
3.7sAre you kidding, Lois? The army's great! You get to save money for college,
3.97sthere's free food, and all the brown people you can rape.
3.67sI am sorry, but he is not joining the army. Case closed.
3.34sI can't believe they're brainwashing kids like Chris to serve in the military.
4.2sAh, yes, the bottom 10% of our high-school class is off to fight another battle.
1.67s- You stole that from The Onion.
- What?
2.37sYou stole that. I read that in The Onion. About the war in Iraq.
3.7sWell, if that's true, then I'd say they've got some sharp cookies over at...
1.07sWhat is it again? The Onion?
1.77sSo if I go up to your room right now,
1.67sI'm not gonna find a copy of The Onion, right?
1.07sNo.
0.74s
2.5s(SCREAMS) Damn it! That's what I thought.
0.67s
2.4s
2.87sMAN ON TV: Coming this fall, if you loved Everybody Loves Raymond,
3.6sthen you'll love his brother Robert even more, in Robert.
2.77sI bet you Debra really gave it to Ray today.