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3.24sI could get the clap from a 12-year-old Chinese prostitute.
2.3sWow, that's great. You'll be serving your country,
2.34sjust like American film legend Mickey Rooney.
3sHi. I'm former biggest star in the world Mickey Rooney.
3.54sAnd as you may know, I am totally and completely insane.
2.47sI like to yell at mice with my shirt off.
1.3s(YELLING)
1.54s
2.7sSometimes, I like to steal other people's scabs.
1.4s(YELLING)
2s
3.3sHow do I stay so crazy? Mickey Rooney's Crazy Pills!
3.14sTake one with breakfast, one with lunch, and before you know it,
2.4syou'll be up on your roof, pooping in the chimney.
2.3sHold out your stockings, kids!
2.9sChris, you can't join the army. You're too young.
1.67sBesides, the army is weak.
3.04sNow, the marines, those are the men you want to fuck.
3.7sAre you kidding, Lois? The army's great! You get to save money for college,
3.97sthere's free food, and all the brown people you can rape.
3.67sI am sorry, but he is not joining the army. Case closed.