Family Guy

S3E7: Lethal Weapons

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"I'm the dog. I'm well-read "and have a diverse stock portfolio. "But I'm not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them "on the small braided rug near the door." "I'm a pompous little anti-Christ who will probably abandon my plans "for world domination when I grow up and fall in love with a rough trick named Jim."