The Simpsons
S16E21: The Father, the Son & the Holy Guest Star
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I wiped a booger on your shirt. I made a dog and a cat kiss. I swiped a bolted down TV from a Holiday Inn, I coveted the wife in Jaws 2, I lied to a waiter, I masturbated eight billion times, and I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future. Whoo-hoo! I'm clean! In your face, Lord! Um, not quite, Mr. Simpson. I can only absolve you if you're a Catholic.
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