Family Guy
S8E4: Brian's Got a Brand New Bag
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You know, it's not because I have a lot of sex. I just...
I just eat a lot of poo off the street.
Come to think of it, how did this get in my wallet in the first place?
STEWIE: "Dear Brian,
"somewhere between the point when you're excited enough to want it "and too excited to care, think about your future.
"Your friend, Stewie."