S5E4: Saving Private Brian
Chris, you can't join the army. You're too young.
Besides, the army is weak.
Now, the marines, those are the men you want to fuck.
Are you kidding, Lois? The army's great! You get to save money for college,
there's free food, and all the brown people you can rape.
I am sorry, but he is not joining the army. Case closed.